Dearest Birthing Women,
Just imagine: What if, just for today, you chose not to ‘manage’ your labour?
What if, you decided that you were not going to learn to breathe, be calm, be relaxed or ‘be’ anything?
What if, in fact, I told you that you don’t actually need birth classes, labour preparation, breathing and relaxation techniques, practice positions, use of drugs, nor find ‘alternatives to drugs’?
What if I told you, that you are being lied to about needing to ‘do’ anything at all?
Women! You are being coerced into believing that you need to manage your body in order for it to be o.k.
What if I told you that the truth is, that your management techniques make it easier for support people to witness you, because it is deeply painful for them to witness the sheer magnificence of the intensity of life being birthed through your body? What if the concern with control and management is ours as a community, and it was never yours at all?
And what if I told you, that in order for us to witness you more easily, we have taken from you, time and time again, one of the most incredible transformative experiences of your human life. It is shameful to me, that we take too much from you in order to make birth o.k for us to be with.
For, what if I told you woman that all you need is to show up to birth you.
Women, ask yourself: How would it be if the witnesses refused to take from you anymore.
Can you imagine a world where your support learn how to manage their own witnessing of you birthing, and that they took classes to learn breathe and let go. Imagine that they learned to listen to their own body. How would it be if the witnesses, we medical and lay support, go to classes and prepare ourselves for your personal unique birthing? What if we promised we would not let you down?
How would it be if your village, support and your family knew without reservation that you are magnificent right now, and that they stood ready to hold, listen and recognise you fully as life comes through you? What if they were courageous enough to see you; bow deeply to your body and not shirk from their responsibly to reflect back to you your power and the immensity of who you are.
Show up! That’s it. No more and no less. You have been lied to that you need to do or be anything else.
You do not need or have to manage your labour, you don’t need to understand it. You don’t need to know more or do or be or create or design or plan. You don’t need to be calm, or fearful, or ecstatic or joyous. You don’t need to feel anything other than what you feel, in the very present moment of your birthing. Because, I will tell you one thing:
You will birth anyway.
You just will.
It is exactly right, just as it is.
And in that moment of your labour and birthing, you have already managed. You just do. In fact, there has never been any other way of birthing, and you are already doing it.
Your witnesses are learning to manage birth, and you have taken that responsibility on. Let go, that is their job to look after from now on.
You are already doing yours. It’s enough.
With love, Rachel